My mum has made her decision. Five months after Dad had to go into an aged care home due to failing health, she has decided to join him.
I really admire how she took her time and patiently waited until her direction felt very clear. She had to balance giving up some level of independence with her desire to be with my dad. Sixty-two years of companionship has won out and when she was offered a room this week in the same care home, she accepted it.
I also respected and admired my Dad for his quiet patience and great empathy in waiting for Mum make her decision in her own time.
When she rang Dad to tell him that she was going to be moving into the same building he said, “ I am very happy for you and even happier for myself !”
So as we took in this news I asked Mum if she would like to choose any of the little buddhas standing on her kitchen table (where I had been counting them) to pack in her bags. ‘Which ones might help with this significant move?” I asked.
As with many other people, she seemed to know straight away even though she was faced with 125 of them!
She chose a large gold Budai and an ancient style standing Buddha relief.
We discussed their possible connection with her move.
She said the standing Buddha was like an ancient carving on a cave wall slowly being uncovered – the details not yet fully revealed. Intuitively she felt there was something valuable there even though it was not yet clear. I love the way my Mum can move quite quickly to focus on the potential of a situation rather than stay with the fear of the unknown.
And then holding the Budai she said she liked that he had a broad, solid base that felt substantial. Again something helpful to be in touch with as she makes such a brave move.
I explained the meaning behind the many bowls with fruit and offerings around this Buddha’s feet. She liked that he represented abundance and richness.
We smiled together imagining that these qualities would potentially go with her into her new life setting with Dad.
Buddhas donated by Phil, Melbourne and Siddhisambhava, Wales.
August 29, 2016 at 1:27 am
Your Dad sounds wonderful, and your mum also. So good they are reunited in the day to day sense, having obviously always been so in their hearts. You have also been patient and such a caring daughter Maitripala to support their independence, which can be challenging when their welfare is the family’s concern. 💞
Thank you for sharing. x
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August 29, 2016 at 1:54 am
Yes I feel so fortunate to have my wonderful parents still with us into their 80’s. And our family loves the care home. It has a great vibe with lots of activities provided and smiles from the staff. The staff have told me it is a great place to work and that really shows. I am grateful that the Buddhist teachings encourage the practice of kshanti (patience) which has helped me not attach to an outcome I might have decided was right.
August 30, 2016 at 8:53 am
Dear Maitripala, I congratulate both your mum and dad, such a demonstration of love through the ages. May they be well and happy.
Much love and metta,
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